My true feelings...those I do not show. If you know me personally don't go spreading these around. Sex: M Age: 23
I just don’t know what happened. But I became severely depressed right now. It’s even affecting my work today. I’m at work and haven’t gotten anything done. My thoughts just wander around. My latest thoughts are that now I understand those people who try to kill themselves. They get tired of fighting. One can only fight and endure so much. I’ve been fighting for 6 years now. I’m getting tired too. There are more bad days than good days. I’m not saying I’m suicidal, I haven’t thought of that yet. I’m just saying I understand.
I feel happy right now. I haven’t felt like this in a long time. I like this feeling. I’ve been going out with a girl I like. Right now we’re just friends. I wish we could be more than that though. But I don’t know if she sees me that way. And that’s where the conflicted feelings come. I’m happy but then I get scared, worried, sad. I don’t know if I can stand being just her friend. I’ve been in that situation far too many time. I’ll handle it at the moment. I won’t break down right there with her, when I receive the answer. But inside, I’ll be crushes beyond repair. I don’t know what to do. Risk it all and ask her if she sees any kind of future with us together or if she sees me as a friend only? Or should I do nothing and wait more and let my good nature, and being so nice make her think I see her as just a friend? If I decide to ask or tell her anything I’ll really need to muster some courage. I really get scared at the thought of rejection. And it’s not for rejection itself, but because I don’t want to be in that situation again. I’ll start thinking that I’ll always be alone. That no one likes me. That I’ll never find someone. I know I’ll get depressed. I don’t know what to do. I tend to think things through too much. But being with her makes me feel the happiest I’ve been. I just hope there is a future with us together. I really do.
Damn it! Resist! Resist! Don’t give in!!!
Asked by noodlegizmofuntimes
Thank you so much! I haven’t scheduled it yet. But I’m pretty sure I’m going to call during the workday tomorrow. I’ll let you know how it goes. You’ve been a great help really!